5 Tips For Helping A Friend Through Their Parental Journey
As parents, we understand that asking for help or reaching out when you can is not only important, it’s essential. Raising a brand new person from their very first day is a big ask, and no one achieves a perfect outcome. Thankfully, you don’t need to be a perfect parent to be a wonderful parent, and so you should never feel bad about asking for help.
If you’ve been through your own parenthood (and still are to this day), you may be in a position to offer welcoming advice to a friend going through it for the first time. That doesn’t mean you should have to volunteer every single one of your weekends to the task of course, but it does mean being there where it counts, offering certain tidbits of advice, lending a hand when needed, and not just helping them care for the baby, but for themselves too.
So, in this post we’ll discuss how to help a friend through parenthood, using tried and true means. You can bet your efforts will be appreciated:
Listen Without Judgment
Sometimes, all a friend needs from us is to listen well without a sense of judgment or dismissal. That in itself can feel like a breath of fresh air, and you may be surprised just how welcome your presence is. Not everyone likes to complain of course, but having somewhere your friend can vent and then telling them your difficulties during the first few months can be a great reliever. It will also help your friend feel less guilty about having those feelings, which are quite natural and normal for most. Of course, listening without judgment also allows you to keep a subtle eye on your friend and their well-being. If they say anything concerning, you can provide the help they need or suggest they seek further professional guidance.
Respect Their Parenting Choices
Ultimately, we are a close friend and not an authority in our friend’s family unit. You may have different values. Perhaps you didn’t find it tolerable to have your children’s ears pierced while they were toddlers, but your friend is happy to do so and willing to make sure it’s done right. You might not have been happy with this regarding your children, but if your friend is and their actions aren’t causing deep harm, then it’s important to respect their choices.
If there are any genuine wellbeing concerns, you can always raise them to the agencies that take care of this, after trying to dissuade their actions. For the most part, this will be unnecessary, but just remember that these are not our children. Now, if we’re made into godparents or possible guardians of the children, you might voice your concerns a little more, but it’s important to remember our roles.
Help Through Any Very Difficult Times
Unfortunate is somewhat of an incomplete word to describe how difficult parenthood can be sometimes, especially if a child suffers health issues or any unique challenges such as this present themselves. Being a steadfast rock through a terrible time may just be a call you have to rise to. It can be hard to even suggest it, but helping your friend visit the hospital where appropriate, to care for themselves, to deal with single parenthood if turbulence in the relationship occurs, or finding beautiful child caskets from Memorials.com, while impossible to think about, can give your friend the ability to keep their head above water.
Unfortunately, parenthood isn’t fair, and so helping your friend through thick and thin, the good times and the bad times, is something we have to be prepared for when the unpredictability of parenthood arises. With unconditional love shown, you can be the connection they need.
Help With Break Nights
Having a baby can be hard on a relationship, even if the relationship is absolutely healthy in general terms beforehand. This is because going without sleep, caring for the most important person in their lives, and dealing with the additional time and financial burden of raising a little one is an intense effort. For this reason, helping with break nights can allow your friends to enjoy a little time to themselves while you look after the child in their care.
This might enable them to go for a date in a local restaurant and come back at night, or head for a weekend getaway once a year with you caring for the child. It all depends on what the arrangement is, but offering to look after the loved one and accepting any of the usual routine adjustments you must make can be a wonderful provision. If they offered you the same during your own parental journey, then of course, it’s nice to repay the favor.
Provide Any Resources You No Longer Need
It may be that you have some resources on-hand that still work and can save your friend some money. Perhaps you have a mobile for hanging over their crib to keep a baby amused when falling asleep, or a changing station (which has been cleaned, of course), hand-me-down baby clothes that could still fit and are washed well, or more helpful implements, like a pram or car seat.
Now, many suggest that a baby’s car seat should always be purchased new no matter what for safety reasons, but of course, if you’ve never encountered a collision with yours and it’s still in great condition, you don’t have to artificially throw it out. Other appliances like baby bottle warmers or sanitizers an be helpful, though, of course, it’s unhygienic to share bottles. Not only can this effort save a great deal of money for your friend, but there’s something beautiful and symbolic about sharing the provisions to help care for a little one.
With this advice, you’re certain to help a friend through their parental journey and do so with care. It might take a little time for them to get the hang of parental life, but it’s hard to find a parent who didn’t need a little care and support as they learned the ropes.